Dare to thrive

I’m writing this because I am very tired of women not thriving. I see it around me in women aged 16 to over 60, and I want this malnourished conception of life to stop. There are far too many unhappy women who live thus, not because of some external extenuating circumstances, but because they hate themselves. If this is you, then you know what I am talking about. Deep down, you don’t support yourself enough to live your best life. You make a bad choice, which leads you on to another, with the result that you feel really bad about yourself. But instead of accepting where you are and changing course, you choose yet more terrible options, which makes you feel even worse. The following day, you wake up and start the process again, until weeks, months, years pass, and this way of life has become so normal to you, that you cease to believe that it is possible to change. Furthermore, you have by now managed become really isolated from yourself and others, or to surround yourself with other women who only serve to affirm your attenuated view of life and your negative self-conception. It’s a very deep pit you’ve dug yourself into.

But here is the thing. You put yourself there, you can get yourself out, one choice at a time. Alan Downs, the author of The Velvet Rage, reminds us that making significant life change is not about the big decisions like relocating to a new town, changing jobs or ending a relationship. Such big moves create upheaval and act as a distraction from whatever work needs doing. He states, “Every moment of every day, every breath you take presents an opportunity to choose a life of contentment and joy. Here, in the small decisions, is where you make choices that ultimately make a big difference in your life.”

Doubtless, this is a process and it will be difficult. But remember that it takes quite a substantial amount of energy to sustain your current negative life. It costs a lot to undermine oneself and to force one to live below what they are capable of. This is a fact. So you might as well expend that energy on living your best life. Remember also that it has taken you years to build up to this state, it will quite possibly take you years to get out of it. But I believe in you. You can do it. Others before us have managed, and in full disclosure, this a daily process for me too.

This malaise that some women suffer, impedes them from sharing their talents with the world, and bleeds a lot of capability into the landfill of wasted dreams. We need you to share your talents with us. We want you to want the very best for yourself, because in so striving, this will lead you to make this world a better place.

Adrienne Rich said, “When a woman tells the truth she is creating the possibility for more truth around her.” To which I add, when a woman dares to thrive, she is creating the possibility for others to thrive around her. Dare to be happy in spite of your circumstances. Don’t wait until everything is perfect to achieve this. Live now, this very minute, and in this moment love yourself enough to want to give yourself the very best of your gifts and talents. Use your mind, your creativity and your innate athleticism. Be unapologetically yourself. Do it now. We want your contribution.

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